Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She's just so happy...and so naked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
