dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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