do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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