you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
