My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dignity is for republicans.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
