Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
