If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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