you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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