did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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