My nipple is on Facebook.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
