Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
