would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
