On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
