It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
