I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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