why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
birth control should be required to get into college
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
