it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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