thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
