SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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