I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
