Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
