i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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