I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize