so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
