home. puking in laundry basket.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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