last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
