in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
