is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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