i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
