just come out here and I will go home with you...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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