If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
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My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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