I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
