You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
