We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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