I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
