Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
wow bdsm is so cute
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
