Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
