You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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