Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
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Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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