Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
