The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i think i just lost a toe
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
