Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
