Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
