If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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