Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
