ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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