mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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