that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
