New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
