i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
plz talk dirty to me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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