I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
