Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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