so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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