I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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