He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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