checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
A+ Viking dick
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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