Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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